21 Dec The Truth About Asking ‘What If’?
I wanted to be a lawyer. I don’t know where that first came from, but I can actually remember imagining myself as a lawyer. In a suit, all professional and serious, fighting for my client and holding my ground. What if I had gone to law school? That question used to really bother me.
Ok, so let’s think about that for a sec. Well, I wouldn’t have gone to London, which is arguably one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself. If I never went to London I’m not sure if I would have the same love of traveling that I have now. And my travel has had such a huge impact on the person I am, so I guess I would be different.
Would I be a lawyer today? Or would I have burned out from the intense workload and stress (I really don’t like stress) and not seeing friends (I like seeing friends too).
Or would I have loved it? Like really LOVED it? And would I have been really great in that courtroom, standing up for people and arguing with the crown and the judge (I do like arguing, especially when I’m right)?
Or would I have become disillusioned with the lack of fairness in the law? Like how they say to never meet your hero. Or famous celebrity person you think is really great. Because they just might be a dickhead.
You have so many questions when you look back at that stage. Wondering if you steered yourself down the wrong path. Asking yourself, ‘what if I…’? It drives you crazy, how can it not? Every time you have a crap day at work and come home completely dissatisfied with how things are, you let mind trail off and wonder about the paths you didn’t take. If you had just worked harder in school. If you had just listened to (or not listened to) your parents. You might in a better place right now.
But here’s the thing – will you ever know? Because if there’s a way to find out an answer to your questions, like actually going to law school, then do it. I know you are thinking that you will have to invest this time and money, but the time will go by anyways, the money will be spent regardless.
But if you can’t go to law school, if you’re not able to, then it’s time to stop asking yourself these questions. It’s time to move on. Because there is a reason you didn’t go to law school. There is a reason you went to London instead and are not slaving away in a court, yelling at a judge right now but instead writing this blog post from a café in Colombia. Because that wasn’t right for you at the time. And you can only make the best decisions for yourself at the time with the information you have available. It’s not about looking back and thinking ‘what if’? It’s about trusting yourself.
Trusting that you made the right decision for yourself at the time and trusting that you are where you need to be right now. Life is a journey, and you just have to keep moving. And trust that it will come together. Because I promise you, if you have the drive and you put in the work, it will. And when that time does come for you, when you are doing the work you want to do and living the life you want for yourself, every decision that you had made will have been to get you that exact right spot.